This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. And thank you so much for waiting.

"Your ability to forgive and forget is nearly limitless -- except when it comes to the few biggies. You know the times, when your heart got trampled on and kicked to the curb? Ease up on the past; let go of the anger."

got a ticket to nowhere